//*Saturday, May 26, 2007*//你们这些恶心的家伙！
请消失。。 请离我远一点！
别装着纯真的样子！别装着很有交情的样子！
很可笑。。很恶心！
我讨厌你们！
我很全世界！
*my heart was broken_
4:45 AM
//*Wednesday, May 23, 2007*//YEA! finally im able to use colours again! im so damn happi.. haha.. i found out e prob le.. nvr tot tt i m so clever! LOL..
anyways.. had my jap speaking test today.. it was horrible~ im kinda disappointed in myself.. =(
こにちは。
わたしわビシです。わたしわシンガポールです。
しゅみはカラオケとインタネットです。
どうぞようろしごう。
さようなら。
its was fun learning japanese.. but it was hard.. im nt gd at it..
yup.. i tink i didnt did well for e test.. mayb half upon e full marks.. hais..
i was v.v.nervous.. tt i forgot almost everyting..
but it's all over le..
e class ended at 10am.. which was 2 hrs earlier.. LOL..
waited for sy to come n as to finish her class.. i went to reformat my lappy..
wif e acc. by colin.. e journey was nt tt bored..
cos im new to reformatting com. , he acc. mi thr.. n he help mi lots..
thx to him.. if nt im dead for sure.. mayb my lappy wun b able to repair le..
after tt.. went to meet sy.. den meet as oso..
sally, sj n cy came along wif as.. we ate our lunch at e atrium..
after tt.. sy went for her class..
soon after sy left.. sally they all went bak hm le..
as acc. mi to stay in sch.. cos im stil dling msn.. haha..
den she oso acc. mi take bus 61 hm.. LOL..
we saw renfred.. he slip~~~ =X
n i went to meet TAG at wm..
we went to mac after tt.. went to wm again to xue ping ard..
i saw YQ n esther! LOL.. YQ say he saw JX ard.. but i nvr got to c him.. =)
yea.. den we went bak to gombak after slacking whole afternoon ard bukitbatok..
so bored man! cannot stand.. zzz..
went hm soon after tt.. haha..
tml i'll be meeting one of my jap classmate..
he failed his jap speaking test ah.. he asked mi for help.. LOL..
duno i can help much anot.. but im trying to help him to revise abit b4 he go for his retest on thurs.. hope he can do well tis time..
nvr tot tt i can help others.. summore in jap.. LOL.. i hope i can b a gd teacher.. haha..
yea.. im having a BAD headache nw.. im gg to rest nw.. =(
*hate being sick.. its terrible.. hais*
*my heart was broken_
1:20 AM
//*Tuesday, May 22, 2007*//my BLOG got prob!!
i cant change e colour of my font!!! *sobs~
hais.. white is so dull.. no colourful!! cant express my emotions..
*my heart was broken_
1:39 PM
//*Monday, May 21, 2007*//hmm~ kinda stress..
tues im gg to hav my jap speaking test le..
im v.worried.. cos haven realli start to pract..
im in a bad mood these days.. im nt happi..
i juz wish to avoid everyting..
im so tired.. exhausted..
*my heart was broken_
12:02 AM
//*Friday, May 18, 2007*//hmm~ after hearing much frm his gf..
i hope i m realli wrong of doin tis..
i juz hope tt he cld be matured enough to change his attitude towards others..
i scolded him.. sayin words tt acutalli hurt him.. his gf told mi..
but it was for his own gd..
wtf..
he juz came bak frm other after we quarrelled..
i tink im nt wrong.. i heard him sayin tt he wasnt wrong..
he is still tinking tt it was my fault..
n im totally freak out..
tinking of giving in to him..
n i wun.. he choosed e path..
my mum n his gf both said tt i sldnt hav hurt him by saying those tings..
but after hearing wad he say..
i totaly disagree..
pls man.. dun ask mi to giv in to him anymore..
i tink its totally nt worth..
IM SO DAMN ANGRY..
*my heart was broken_
7:00 PM
//*Thursday, May 10, 2007*//hmm~ i tink im totally hopeless..
din go to sch for 3 days le.. mon (mc).. ytd self-mc.. today.. almost half e day din go sch.. will be gg ltr at 3 for SBR lecture.. cos i missed all his tut alreadi.. tink i sldnt hav miss any of his lesson again.. if nt i tink i'll be debarred soon.. V.V soon!
hais.. mon i was sick.. ytd i m nt feeling well.. n oso tink im v.tired.. juz cant wake up.. today oso.. ytd do SBR till 3am.. realli cannot tahan le.. nt feelin well plus im damn tired.. i went to slp.. doin onli till half way..
today morning.. cant wake up again! WTH m i doin? i dun understand.. y y y?
i dun wana miss lessons de.. but i juz dun feel lyk gg.. n i duno y m i freaking sick these days.. i tink cos of e stupid weather.. hot n cold.. cold n hot..! n im feeling damn moodless.. moody at e same time.. my emotions.. all messed up.. im feeling sad.. feeling lost..
i hate sch.. but i hate wking too.. dun wana step into e wking world so fast.. yet i dun wish to stay in tis meaningless studying world..
help~ im dying soon.. wif lots of stress.. unhappiness..
nobody cld understand hw i feel.. feeling miserable..
I HOPE I CAN DIE.. IN A PEACEFUL MANNER..
I WANA LEAVE TIS SHANG XIN ZHI DI..
I DUN FEEL HAPPI EVER SINCE I IN POLY.. POLY LIFE JUZ SUX TO E CORE!
i wan bak my sec sch life.. i miss it.. i juz cant forget those gd memories..
i juz m nt myself.. nt e old mi anymore..
cos tings cant change when it has alreadi happened..
everyting juz changes.. without my notice.. without their notice..
changed.. nt anymore da same.. =(
*my heart was broken_
12:14 PM
//*Tuesday, May 08, 2007*//hmm~ today after my IS class.. i went to meet ai shang at blk 34.. however, he was at blk 50.. she tot blk 50 WAS blk 34.. LOL.. i asked her wad lv she was at n which classrm she was in.. oso asked her which BLK she was at oso.. she told mi she was at blk 34 lvl 3 1st classrm.. hmm ok.. acutalli was waiting at blk 51.. juz release frm class.. tot she might b at blk 1 as or IS classes were mostl at blk 50.. as she told mi tt her class was at blk 34.. i went dwn o look for n.. to wait for her i mean.. den i went all e way up to blk 34, lvl 3 and was trying to walk pass e 1st classrm to see whether m i heading for e right classrm anot..
den to my realise.. there weren't anyone in tt classrm.. nor was it a classrm.. it was a LAB?! LOL.. e whole stretch of lvl was EMPTY! i waswondering did i see wrongly frm e msg shang had sent to me.. so i went to see e msg again.. n i was corect ah! blk 34 lvl 3 rm 1 wad.. LOL.. den i msg her again to make sure again..
thr she go.. blk 34 lvl 3 1st classrm.. u look inside can c mi le.. tis is wad tt cutie pie told mi.. i was totally blank inside my head.. de i msg her.. shang! dun scare mi leh.. no ppl ah.. haiyoyo~!
yup.. i cldn't wait anymore as i m quite scared of tis kinda "weird" situation.. i went up to e 4th floor to hand up my MC. cos i was sick e previous day.. hmm! everyting settled..
finally.. sy call mi le.. she reached sch alreadi.. we gg to meet at canteen 1 to hav our lunch.. so were shang.. she called mi n said she released frm class alreadi.. n asked mi to meet her at lvl 1 of blk 34.. LOL..
when i reached e grd floor.. i cldn't c a single soul.. nt even a shadow.. muhaha!
shang called mi again.. cos we haven meet up.. she asked mi.. whr r u? i reach le.. den my reply was.. i oso reach le ah!? whr r u? we keep sayin we r at lvl 1 (same blk) but acutalli we r at diff. blk..
do u noe wad? shang ws at blk 50 ma.. ofcos she cldn't c mi! onli when i asked which location were she at of blk 34.. is it BE AXIS? den she finally realised tt she was at blk 5o!!!
haiyoyo~! shang ah.. nt enough slp huh? haha.. tot 10am lesson? stil nt yet waked? hehe.. jkin la.. but realli FUNNY lo! c! i can write so s LONG!
anyway.. after we meet up.. we straight away go n meet sy le.. =)
after havin lunch.. they went to buy desserts.. yea.. tis was duno wad but sy bluff mi.. she say tis is e "cold" version of "dou hua".. n i realli BELIEVE! hais.. always gt cheated! ah~!hmm~ after we had our lunch.. we went to e library to play board games! LOL.. so far i onli played twice lo.. gota go thr play more often.. NP is R*** ma.. LOL!
den nt long after tt.. ard 45 mins.. mi n sy headed to e bus to go botanic garden.. our field trip for landscape management.. acutalli it was quite interesting.. but e SUN was damn HOT! u cannot imagine de.. realli v.v.hot ah! we all were sweating lyk HELL! haha..
below were some sceneries tt i tot it was beautiful.. cos taken by mi.. LOL..
waterfall! (small one) LOL..
tis plant sy say nice.. muz take muz take.. LOL...jpg)
i beg sy to take a foto wif mi lo.. she at 1st dunwan de cos she say so sweaty.. nt pretty so she dunwan.. haha...jpg)
see.. so pretty.. juz luv her so much! haha...jpg)
v.de CMI!.jpg)
OUR shadow!.jpg)
do u noe wad m i doin? i was kissing her! she asked mi to do so.. LOL.. .jpg)
i was sweating lyk heaven! den i become a fairy! =S.jpg)
she was laughing at my pose! so im gona huant her!yes! n nvreless.. today is my PAPA's birthday wor! haha.. so happi.. i went dwn personally to buy his cake wor! but too happi liao.. i acutalli bought a "happy mother day" cake! n i din realise. LOL.. but it's ok ma.. papa oso can equal to mama de ma.. both parents.. hehe!
hais.. but blur mi.. i noe my papa is 48 yrs old le.. i go n want 4 candles onli!!! argh~! 40 yrs old is my mama de.. too happi till i make such a BIG mistake.. dunomy papa will sad ma.. hope wun.. realli dun forget hw YOUNG is my dad.. juz a MISTAKE! heex..
te deng! tis is my papa! handsome ba? still look v.v.young ma hor? hehe..wishing upon e star!
tot i tink tis sentence is damn old fashion liao.. but i stil hope tt his wishes will come true! =)
i jus luv him lots!dad! i luv u! *shys*
i wana celebrate mani mani of his bday!!
he cut e cake.. my kou shui dropping dwn le.. =P
tis was 1 of e bai se ping.. he gave my mama.. haha.. so sweet lo! my mama sure happi till cannot slp! LOL..
i wana celebrate mani mani of his bday!!
he cut e cake.. my kou shui dropping dwn le.. =P
tis was 1 of e bai se ping.. he gave my mama.. haha.. so sweet lo! my mama sure happi till cannot slp! LOL..hmm~ hwever.. e bday celebration din end wif a gd one.. cos i quarrelled if my idiotic brother.. he acutalli forgotten my dad's bday.. n i was lyk so angry lo.. i asked him if he were to at least share e cake $ wif us.. tot i noe he dun hav any.. he cld return us bak when he hav.. but he was lyk sayin.. WTH.. u noe i dun hav any den u stil wan ask frm mi.. so i said tt he sld nt eat e cake since he din pay for it.. under anger.. n cos he wanted his FACE.. he said he wun eat e cake.. n e quarrel started n ended.. wif my papa listening.. showin a sad face..
i m so bu xiao! hais.. sldnt hav quarrelled wif my idiotic bro.. my i cant contol my anger. he dun earn $ for my parents alreadi nvm le.. stil always get $ frm my parents.. they alreadi no much $ le.. still hav to yan zhe ge jia.. still hav to let him anyhw spent e hard-earn $! wo zhen de kan b guo qu.. i hate his wu zhi! he alreadi 17 yrs old le. stil duno hw to tink.. always lend $ frm us to satisfy his GF's needs.. den ad abt us? his FAMILY?
inside his heart.. dun even say hav US.. sibilings.. i tink he dun even hav my PARENTS! i realli feel so heart-broken.. to c tt my parents wk until so tired.. still hav to let him anyhw spent their $!!
he's nt schling le.. no vacancies in ITE.. cos of his own fault.. n he wasnt finding jobs to earn $ for himself.. everyday staying at hm to slack.. play online games.. find GF.. find frens.. taking $ frm my parents.. lending $ frm us.. smoking.. WTF!
i tink he is totally hopeless.. nt tt i wana look dwn on my OWN bro.. but see wad he has done for his OWN family..
i tried to understand his feelings.. his tinking.. trying to help him.. giving him chances. TOTALLY NO USE! IM JUZ PROOFING MYSELF TO ACT LYK AN IDIOT!
he dun understand hw much effort we hav done.. onli look at e BAD side of us.. lyk scolding him.. tot it was for his own gd. but he nvr look at e GOOD side of us.. HAIS!
dunwan end my blog wif such a idiotic message..
other den tt.. i tink i gone thru quite smoothly today..
tink tml wif b tough.. hav to see a lecturer.. due to my attendance.. hais.. tink i gona go sch.. stop falling sick le.. if nt.. im dead..
tot i realli feel lyk getting sick.. cos.. i dun wan to go to sch! =(
希望明天会跟好！加油！
*my heart was broken_
10:31 PM
//*Monday, May 07, 2007*//
如果真的结束了。。
我该怎么吧？我会伤心吗？我会掉眼泪吗？我会难过吗？
什么事都事事难料。。
今天。。满满的笑容。。
明天。。却泪流满面。。
今天。。开心地笑着。。
明天。。缺一个人走着。。
今天。。开心的手牵手。。聊聊天。。
明天。。却掉头就走。。不会回头。。
今天。。说着：“我爱你！”。。
明天。。却说：“分手吧！”。。
我觉得。。我们应该把我当下。。
机会不是时常有的。。
错过了。。就没有机会了。。
没有机会说了。。也没有机会做了。。
所以。。朋友们。。要把握机会哦！
不要后悔。。
如果错过了。。你一定会后悔的。。
你一定会。。后悔的。。
一定会。。一定。。
我希望。。每一位朋友都能幸福。。
你们要幸福哦！
*my heart was broken_
1:54 AM
//*Friday, May 04, 2007*//hmm~ i cant slp.. duno y.. =(
missed him much.. tink i still nt used to be tt independent.. having to meet him e most onli twice a wk.. but he nvr noe hw much i missed him.. hw much i wan him to acc. mi..
used to meet everyday last time.. but nw.. i cant even hav a proper conversation wif him..
other den those days tt we meet up.. we onli used to chat on e fone or sms..
onli sms a few msg.. den always.. we will hav nth much to tok abt.. chatted on e fone every nite.. but e duration is lyk less den a 15 mins break time.. onli sometimes tt i m lucky.. i cld chat wif him abit longer.. lack of time! we cant communicate well wif each other..
he doesnt noe.. even if i were to tell him abt it.. he juz wun understand..
to him.. i tink it's ok or normal.. but to mi.. i juz feel tt everyting is wrong..
wad m i suspose to do? i hav no idea..
juz to pass each day wif a broken heart.. nvr b able to mend.. it's bleeding on e day ever since we knew each other.. i guessed..
or mayb it's my problem.. im juz asking too much? not being reasonable?
i guessed im juz being somebody.. or mayb nobody..
i hope.. i wish.. i hav a wish tt wld be granted..
i juz hope for more time.. to be wif him.. but i guess.. tis wish will nvr come true..
nvr.. it's e fact.. i knew it long ago..
but.. i juz hope tings will change..
*my heart was broken_
2:21 AM
//*Wednesday, May 02, 2007*//hmm~ today was his bday.. 21st bday.. on labour day.. 1st of may =)
we din go anywhr.. juz stay at my hse.. celebrating peacefully.. watching televsion.. cracking jokes.. though we quarreled before tt.. however everyting ended nicely.. better than nth.. i stil tot tt everyting will b ruin by tt stupid quarrelings.. haha.. =)
anyways.. cos i m quite "broke" le.. so din manage to make his bday celeration a grand one.. will hav chances next time.. though 21st bday sld b quite impt.. but he is ok wif tt.. cos he dun realli lyks to celebrate bday.. Zzz..
haha.. he was eating happily.. the small little cake i bought for him! ^^
he wore e shirt tt i bought for him for his bday present!! he lurves it lots! haha...juz wana say: happi bday my darling! 21 years old liao hor! haha.. treat mi better n dun make mi sad anymore okies? haha..
aiyah.. he wun noe.. cos he dun read my blog.. nvm la.. juz hope can le.. haha..
hope everyting will be fine tml.. cos schling again.. holiday is over.. hwwk!! hais..
lucky tml my lesson starts at 11am.. nt tt early.. though ends at 5pm.. but cos i onli hav 4 hrs of tut all tgt.. LOL..
lastly.. he lyks everyting i hav do for him today.. a msg wif my singing of a happi bday song for him.. e present.. e cake.. LOL.. n im gg to make him a ppt ltr.. =)
^^ lots of lurves~``
*my heart was broken_
12:11 AM
![[contact]](http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b270/x50926x/mail.gif){kind=small}
